Weather had been bad lately. Rain And Rain......... Wanna go swimming but got no choice. So cold... Feel tired these few days. head is spinning. Feel so giddy. Dont know why. But i dont have sugar low leh...... Stupid doc, nothign gd come out from his mouth de. What should i do. I hate going to see him. So tired. Not enough slp. Having panda eyes liao. having insomia........ Very tired but cant get to slp. Since from the doc there. Till now i cant get to slp liao. dont know y .......
Ahhhhh.......... i wan a hug.... i wan to feel the sweet....... i wan to be loved.... I wan to die liao la......
Nonsense Ended....
Ni pen down
Feeling very terrible now. Feel like dying just now. Vomit and vomit. And had to lie at the toilet and rest for a while. My heart is like going to be tear apart. The pain is so unbearable. Really dont know i can still hold on for how long. Think if this symptoms goes on. I wont be around much longer. Wont be able to withstand for more than a mth. Going crazy soon. Took the pain killer med from the doctor. But it doesnt help at all. Idiot medicine. blood and blood flowing out. So scary. Still find it so irritating. Til now still cant get used to it. It is so sickening. I really wonder what i havent do. Which i can do now.
Anyone who i offended, or not happy with me. I am sorry. But i have got my retribution. And will be dying soon. So no worries.
Today was so demorale. Cried at office. Was thinking of commit suicide. Had decide, till i saw 1 message. Which make me reconsider. I took bus to 1 under blk. And i ponder what to do. What should i do. I reach home. With nothing happened. I didnt do it. This message is what i wanted to hear. But till now i am still thinking. I havent really reached an answer. Really very tired. Cry and cry. I really feel so demorale. Never in my life so demorale before. Vomit blood. But i dont care. I dont wan to see doctor. I hate going.
I really dont know what i wan. having headache. And my heart is so pain. No one can help me. No one can. i am so tired. I know that i have to be strong. but if many things came crashing, and u called someone trying to tell. but in the end. no one wanna listen. What the hell is this. I had enough.
Today went to work with swollen eyes. Told shan wat happen. And She console me, and make me feel better. but i know that i am still depressed. It is not easy to get myself up sp easily. I truly hope that no more bad things coming my way. I am really very tired le.....
Hope all end wells....
Will stop here
I really don't knwo where to start from.... I just feel terrible. Many things is happening. Don't wan to say much.... Feeling very upset. Feel very down. Had been crying. And i told no one. Dont wish to say it. I lost my way le. I am very demorale. Think i am sinking to the bottom soon. Really very tired. Dont know what to do. I have no say. I have no control. I dont know what to do. Really wish to stop le. Wish to commit suicide. Really wish to. Going crazy soon. Dont know what i am doing everyday. I am totally very sian. I have been crying and crying.
No one knows, and no one wanna know. Say u will listen, but i dont feel this way. I think u wan me to listen. It is always like that. Say is easy, doing is hard. I dont wan to say anything about myself to anyone. I am forced to go back to my old self. I think this is better this way. At least i dont feel i am a idiot, saying and on one listen. And in the heart find me a nuisance. I am so stupid. So totally stupid. Nv clever before. And dumb to the ass.
What the fuck am i doing now, and still living. I should just end this, so that this world will be more better. At least i wont be so nuisance and idiot to.........
fuck up idiot life.
