I hate myself. I really hate myself. Why do i always cause trouble to peole. Why am i so useless. Why am i still alive. Why don't god just end my life. So i will just save people from trouble. From Been worried for me. I really hate myself. I am not going to drink anymore. I will just work and go home. This way i dont create any idiot trouble to people. i curse myself. I hope that i will have bad luck and suffer in hell. I will die and nv reincarnate. I am a very idiotic person. How i wish i can just stab myself now. Why am i so stupid. Why am i always so fuck up.

my only wish is to DIE NOW. i dont wan to burden anyone. Dont wan to let people worry me. But i always let people worry about me. Pls god just let me die.

i wish to die, i wan to die. everyone just stay aways from me, i am just a very stupid an didiotic person. Who create problem for people. PLease leave as far away from me as possible.

Sat went out with ting go shop for new yr clothes. Went to far east to eat our lunch. Then proceed to shopping. Outside start to rain heavily. Oh my god. Really spoil my mood. Nv really get much thing. Maybe this coming weekend then go shop again. went home to rest. Then jio wen out for a movies. Also to chat with her. Then watch a very stupid lame show. called the illusionist. Really not worth my money. So diao man. Then walk to buy drinks and find a place to chat. On the way there, got scared by a uncle. Suddenly came out of nowhere and his hand is holding a bowl of water. really very errie man. Then saw a very cheeky uncle. Keep on cycle and keep on look at us. Then cycle 1 round. After that saw a guy standing at 1 corner to refill his cigarette. Really scared me..... So many things happen at 1 shot. So scared. Then sat at a blk nearby. Saw a window there like got 1 person keep on staring at us. But look like sonething but cannot confirm. I told wen that it is very eerie. Then she say is towel hanging there. But look like a person standing there. But i feel very scared. But feel curious. In the end i decided to go and check it out. I walk very slowly and see if wen is looking at me. And in the end is really a towel. So stupid of me..... Got scared by a towel.... haha........ Wen already want to peng liao. Haha

I will stop here

Ni pen down

Today was very shack during work. Cos morning work up with a bad sore throat. Today office was quite quiet. Very free today. Not busy at all........ Too free le. Became slacking. Afternoon during lunch tim slp for a while. then i knock my head on the desk and woke up. It was so pain. There the 2 ladies was there laughing. So seh. Then continie to slp again. haha... My colleague sang lullaby to me. haha.... Guess wat song was that. it was twinkle twinkle little star. Haha..... Today weather was considered ok. no rain. Till now. 6.30pm. suddenly rain le.... Luckily i am home le. Hahahahahahaha............

I dont't wan to close my eyes, I don't wannna fall asleep. Cos i scared to die. And i don't wan to miss anything......I will miss, i will cry, i wll leave with despair.

I will stop here

Ni pen down

It has been raining and raining. My window hasn't open for quite some time already. Haha....... Fri went out with friend. Overall is okok. Sat, the same. Go out with wen. Went to ktv at bedok. After that went to my house nearby. Cos it seems like going to rain soon. Felt very sian. Nothing to chat about. I am lost for words. I also don't know what to talk about. Sometime people will feel dont know what to say. Cos i am the one to "entertain" her always. I will also fell tired. Pls if u realy cherish this friendship, sometime u should make the initiate to think of something to talk about. when i am quiet u also quiet. And u expect me to entertain u..???????. Things should be fair. When it is quiet u just say " TALK LEH". what is that. PLs put yrself in my shoes sometime. i always think for u 1st. Can u think for me sometime also. Doesn't mean to scold u or wat. Just wanna let u know how i feel. I cherish this friendship. I don't wan to end up quarrel outside. Hope u understand.

I truly put him down le. I took out his pic from my wallet. I got nothing to talk to him. I really feel that he is childish. And think he is so handsome that everyone wants him.

But at least i am finally free from him. I let him out from my heart. Feeling very light now. I can finally have my new life. Starting from now. From 2007.

May everybody dream come true

Ni pen down

Today weather quite good. NO rain. Yes. I loves this kind of weather. So long long nv go swimming le. Feel like going to swimming. Getting lazy and lazy. Going to become a typical slacker le...... Ahhhhhhhhh........... i don't wan to be a slacker........ Today at office crazy. Cannot calm down. Keep on talk nonsense. HAha.............. Considered quite free today. This week only work 4 three days only. Yes..........

I finally took out his pic from my wallet. I did it. I know that we won't be together. And i also don't know whether he can be trusted. He seems like a very mysteries person. Wuuuuuuuu.


Grandfather is out of hospital for quite a few days liao. Nv go and visit him yet. Will find one of these days go visit him. Going for a drink tom. Yes........... Finally man. Go support my friend. She is working there as a waitress. Go and enjoy myself and relax. Hope that i won't get drunk. Haha...... Try to drink as less as possible. keke

Feel like going overseas. Go for a holiday. But really very tight cash. Alot of things need to be spend on. I also need to take my driving licence. Wanna take that for very long liao. Will take that when i get my this month pay. Haha........ No more delay........

Went to buy nail polish. But don't really know how to use. Cos i don't really put that on my nails. Cos find life too boring, so find something to do. Can be very difficult, as my hands is always very shaky. So do very long then can. But also don't look nice leh......... I only buy 2 colours. haha. Pink and blue. Will buy more colours on the way.......

Really getting fatter and fatter. Must watch my diet and go for lots and lots of exercises.

Will pen down now

Ni pen down

Power yesterday. Didn't went out the whole day. Been slacking at home. Although it was new year eve but really not feeling well. And really no mood to go out. Today is another holiday, but also nv go out. Very sian. really felt quite sickly. feel very demorale. Always spoil my mood. Very boring. Having cough and vomit and vomit. Really had enough. Wondering when it will end. Going bonkers soon.

DOing nothing but watching vcd since yesterday. I really miss u so much. Really hope that i can get to see u. Get to hug u. Can I.............. Been having this shitty dream yesterday. Want to wake up, but no matter how i tried, also can't wake up. It seems so real. But i am really getting worried. Then my hp rang and woke me up. Luckily. It is a very scary feeling. I really thought i may nv wake up again. Trap in the dream forever. It is a very scary matter.

Feeling so stone now. Took my bath and just can't concentrate. I am starting to talk less. Really don't know what to say. Don't know how to communicate with people. I dont wish to be the 1 to always entertain people. I dont need attention. I will just quietly do my things and live in the world of my own. So that i won't piss anyone and anyone wont piss me off. Just a simple life.

Really totally hate fake people. They say 1 things and do another things. Y do i hav this kind of friend. Totally idiotic. Although i am slow, But pls dont lie. I rather take the cruel truth. I can accept it. i totally hate liars.

sorry for this idiot entry.