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Monday, March 12, 2007

Feel Very tired still. Don't know why. Shift my room again. Really feel that the previous arangement is not gd. Now shift liao. Feel better. Father also say this arrangement looks better. He help me to shift yesterday. Many people ask me y i nv go out yesterday. Cos i really dont feel like going out yesterday. Feel very sian and tired. Feel like resting at home.

Receive her message a few days ago. She told me that she miss me a lot and she regret that she didn't spend more time with me. And that she is not a gd friend. And she promised that this yr will be a gd yr for me. She will be a gd friend. And not neglect me and take me for granted. But in the end wat i see. things are still the same. I rather she don't say anything. That will be better. She always make me happy then pull me down again. And even deeper than before. I really dont know what to say about her. Why she wan to treat me this way. What is the term baobei. What does that means to her. She say it stand a place in her heart. I doubt it. Guys and friends are more important than me. I can see with my eyes. She can spend time going out with her friend and no matter how tired she is, she still can find time to meet her guys friend. but not me. And i feel ok. But she say that then do this. Is like she is playing with me. I hate that. She like to lie to me. I always feel that way. Always using me. She always got excuse that working is tired. Wat the fuck is that lousy reasons. She can go out, she can talk on the phone with her friends till 3 - 4 am. She told me this shit. What the hell man.

She really spoil my mood. But i am not going to care her anymore. Fuck care her what she say. Even if something is going to happen to her, i also wont help her. She got friends who will help her. She dont appreciate me, then i also wont care her. She will be out of my life. Even if she is call baobei, she will be the least important.

My family will comes first, then relatives. then friends, then her.

****** and me is really drifting apart. Dont know y. I feel that we got no things to talk. and she always like not happy de. I dont know is it that i make her unhappy. I am tired of guessing. I dont know what is happening. And she doesn't talk much. What she wan me to do. Y must i be the 1 to make decision whenever we go out. I dont like this way.

I believe difficult times will be over soon. Maybe this time i should calm myself and just be a gd girl and spend more time with my mummy. Haha....... Like to disturb her. And see she shy also. haha. Maybe this way she happy i also happy.

Nagging over here...... I will stop here

Ni pen down

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