Never work today. Was on leave. Went to see the doctor today. I told the doctor that i was having serious moodswing and my appetite had changed. I really dont know what is happening. And My period is really very very irregular. After all the test. I got a conclusion from the doctor. I really am very down. Don't Wish to carry on anymore. What am i supposed to do. I dont know how. I am trying to shut mu\yself down. Dont wish to get involved in anything. I delete jass no and photo and boy too. the only friend i got now is wen. I am thinking of not using MSN anymore. And stop everything. Not using yahoo anymore. Since i won't be using it soon. Might as well let it close down.

Everything just seems so wrong. After striking the lottery, everything seems so wrong. What is happening. What will happen to me.........I had save up over a few thousands of savings. I dont know whether it will be enough for thr funeral. I know that i wont have any by the downstair, but even a simple coffin and burning sesions costs a lot. I really dont know whether it is enough. I did all i can to save that amount of money.

Please hate me everyone. So that no one will cry on my death day. Please. I am totally moodless now. I still have so many things i have not done yet. I wil surely regret. Totally regret this life. What have i done to deserve this. Totally not smooth life i got. Always been bullied. And now i have to suffer more, and a very short life span. Y dont god just end my misery now. Just take my life away this minute. Really very miserable. I realy hate the doctor a lot. Y dont they have good news for me. I hate them.

I am a very lonely person. a very stupid and whom people detest. Very slow in thinking. No wonder i dont deserve to live in this world and make everyone miserable. This is the right choice. I should disappear this moment and dont cause any disturbance to anyone.

I believe i will surely go to hell and suffer. I am not a gd person. No wonder i am ..............

i am such a fucking idiot.

LET ME DIE